oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
