theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
