Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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