I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
