I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize