my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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