I just found puke in my bra..
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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