Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
