I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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