I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
