Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
