Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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