is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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