he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
