Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
