you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
