She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize