They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
bring money and cleavage
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
