Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
