I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
