I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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