I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
