If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize