We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
