When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
