you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
