its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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