I'm lost and stupid without you.
Non-Jews are for practice
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
