sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
