He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
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Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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