She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize