I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
