God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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