Where are you?
In a non slutty way
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize