Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Drake has all the answers
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
