using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
