I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize