next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize