i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
