Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
In America we eat man semen.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
