It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize