so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
