i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
