oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
