I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
