so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
