Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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