Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
