pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
