i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
