A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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