I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
