Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
