too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
