If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
