the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
