Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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