I hope mine doesn't look like that
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
