it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
