do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
