i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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