i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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