Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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