I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
