he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
