I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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