Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The air was thick with penises
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
