Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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