Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I cockslap morals
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
God I need to hump something, right now.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
