I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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