I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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