Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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