I just gift wrapped bread.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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