i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
