I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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