I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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