Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
