Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
